In the 6th chapter of Hebrews beginning in verse 4 the Bible says that those who have known Christ if they fall away then to bring them back to repentance would be crucifying Christ all over again and that is not possible.
Am I missing the point here? Am I miss reading this chapter? Or did I understand it correctly?
On my way to work the other day, a car in front of me pulled over to the side of the road.
I drove on past.
Then this voice said: You need to go back and check.
I replied: No.
Voice: There's a turn around right there
Voice: It could be a little lady like your mom.
Me: And it could be a mean person. NO.
Voice: And would I let you get hurt?
Me: No, I'm running late for work.
Voice: Bossman is a good man. He will understand.
By this time I am about 6 miles down the road, having made a turn and halfway to work. I realize that the Voice is not. going. to. stop.
So I turn around.
Voice is laughing I am sure.
I thought I remembered where this car was and thought, whew, it's gone.
Then I thought, IT HAD A FLAT TIRE MORON, IT CAN'T JUST DRIVE OFF.
There it was, at the last bridge.
And it was NOT a grandma, or a young girl.
It was a tall young man.
He was the assistant manager to McDonalds and have been visiting his mom the night before and was on his way to work from her house when he had a flat tire. He wasn't even sure exactly where he was to the the tow truck. But with my help the tow truck found him and I was off to work.
I should know by now that I NEVER, EVER, win when the Voice talks.
While in Wimberly a couple of weeks ago, I saw a wooden cross.
It was small compared to the other crosses, only about 6 inches tall about 4 inches across and about 2 inches thick.
It was beautiful.
It was almost perfect.
The lower 2 inches of the bottom of the cross was eaten away. Whether from bugs or tree rot or whatever.
It made me think, This is what Jesus was at the moment He took our sins, almost perfect.
Just for that instant, he was imperfect, like us.
I meant to go back and get that cross.
I want that daily reminder on my wall what He did for me.
How He became imperfect for me.
That He loved me THAT much.
You know those days when every which way you turn something is happening that is not according to your schedule?
I have those often anymore. So I'm trying to open my hands and just deal with it. Let it go.
On my way home I turn the radio on to usually mellow music to unwind from a crazy hectic day that seems to be happening EVERY day lately.
My car has it's own phone number. When someone calls that number, it stops my radio.
The person that had my car's number didn't pay her bills. Her name is Mary. I don't remember the last name.
Yesterday, some idiot calls and asks for Mary. I reply, you have the wrong number, please remove it from your data base. Thanks.
Idiot starts yapping telling me I am Mary.
Sir, you have the wrong number.
I hang up.
He hits redial.
He hits redial 3 more times.
I even stop and get out at FedEx to drop off packages.
He hits redial 3 more times.
I disconnect every time.
I am almost home, he calls again.
I answer and by this time I am pissed to no end: Hey stupid moron, you have the wrong number! Quit calling me!
He says: NO! I have right numba, YOU have wrong person! We file legal action on you, Mary!
ME: Can I speak to your manager?
Idiot: Hewo? Hewo? You still there? Hewo
Me: Stop calling me.
Idiot: I call you wots now! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I lose it. I am screamin: Stop callin me You 'effin Moron!
I do not know how to turn this phone off.
I am being harassed by several people over this girl's bills.
I called OnStar and had the phone number changed.
Hopefully it won't be someone's old number that didn't pay their bills.
I am really really trying to quit saying the F bomb.
You know that feeling of some days it just might be better to have stayed in bed?
Kinda the way I have felt this past week.
Went to Minnesota to visit some wonderful customers and have come back worn out! I loved it, felt more like a vacation than a business trip, but I just can't seem to get moving with any kind of motivation this week.
It's been a year since I made a flying trip to the hospital to find my son almost dead. A trip that I packed just enough to get me through the night and I was there for 7. Straight. I left on the following Friday to get clothes, check in at work and go back for the weekend. We did not think he would make it through Thursday.
God granted us more time. More time to figure out what is important. More time to realize the gift was that given my family. More time to find Him. More time to remember that we are not always granted more time. More time to cherish the times we have, today.
He has now granted me more time with two of my children. The first time I did not recognize it. I am sad that I did not recognize it the first time. I am glad I know it this time.
It has been a hard year. For Michael, especially. For me. But especially Michael. I think the blogger world has had a helping had in making his life better. His blogger friends have held him up when he was soo down. Sure there have been a few that have been extremely ugly but they do not outweigh the goodness.
Many of you have become my followers also. I am so glad that God has sent you to him. You have made your mark in his life.
We are now moving into our second year. Let's have a party next year!
Love to all!
I am off this morning getting ready to take Micael to dentist for teeth removal and a set of dentures. So I thought while I had time I would read my daily God Issues email.
This saying was in it: Jonathan Edwards approached our question practically. He resolved "never to do anything, which I should be afraid to do, if it were the last hour of my life." He also determined "that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die."
What a great thought! I need to live more like that. I need to let go of grudges, stress, lonliness, all negative energy and do something useful. None of this matters anyway, right?
I ws reading the web today. Wanted to listen to some Dallas station. Didn't know the name so I typed in the numbers off the radio. 96.3 dallas tx and found the radio station so I can listen to it at work. Scrolled down the page and found that Rebecca is no longer there but she has a blog telling why she is not there. The name of the blog is Love. Share. Shine. Made me cry.
Then I went to my hotmail account and we reading my God Issues story for today. The last line got me.
Holocaust survivor Corrie ten Boom asked, “Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?”
What is prayer to me? I'm trying to make it my steering wheel, but I'm thinking I use it more often as my spare tire.
I subscribe to a daily email called God Issues. Some days it is just what I need to hear.
Seems lately, I should've opened more of these.
It's not that I feel God has left me, I just don't know what He wants me to do. I'm sure sobbing and crying over the split with my kids is not quite what He had in mind, but I can't get past it. This has been going on for over 4 months. And a wedding looming in the near future, which is causing even more problems.
I'm at a loss.
Then in the midst of this, Tracy's birthday is Thursday. She would be 33. This week it is hard to realize that. She was 8 and a half when she died. Some years I deal ok. Others-not so much. This is an Other year.
It hit home. I worry about the bills, work, school, the kids, the kids fights, the grandkids, friends, my mother, etc. Get the picture?
This story reminded me that I have today to do with the best I can. I can love the extra time God has given Michael and myself. I can love the times with the Grands. The blessing I have of working with Layne. Be thankful for the massive amount of yelping I receive when I walk through the door after work. The fact that I am not doing well in school is nothing. Let it go.
I have 3 books going at the same time and this one is the one that is the first for me to pick up.
The next one I pick up is this one: Praying God's Will for Your Life is very good also. Totally different kind of book. It is a slower reading for me. Honestly, I get the studders when reading this book. I'm a control freak. I want to control everything. My life, my kids lives, my job, etc. This is a turning it over to God book. It is a hard book for me to put into practice. I am working on it.
Let Go. Let God.
I know when I do, things are much, much better. But I keep closing my fist and holding on. So I sometimes have to pry those fingers open and give it up.