This is not just someone is sick and will get well.
This is a forever thing.
And it is not so wonderful.
I've been crying for over a year.
I didn't think I could cry so much.
I'm tired of it.
Michael is tired of it.
I think Michael is tired of me.
I don't know what to do.
I can't fix this.
I think I can fix everything.
But I can't fix this.
I feel like a failure.
In my mind, I know that is not true but in my heart I still feel it.
Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed.
Then other days I can't go to sleep.
I'm exhausted but sleep will not come.
Which makes crying so much easier.
At any point, I could just fall apart and become just a pile of bones.