Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Wooden cross

While in Wimberly a couple of weeks ago, I saw a wooden cross. It was small compared to the other crosses, only about 6 inches tall about 4 inches across and about 2 inches thick. It was beautiful. It was almost perfect. The lower 2 inches of the bottom of the cross was eaten away. Whether from bugs or tree rot or whatever. It made me think, This is what Jesus was at the moment He took our sins, almost perfect. Just for that instant, he was imperfect, like us. I meant to go back and get that cross. I want that daily reminder on my wall what He did for me. How He became imperfect for me. That He loved me THAT much. Hugs,

Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I am thinkin that maybe I need to connect with someone that has an HIV+  person in their life.

This is not just someone is sick and will get well.

This is a forever thing.

And it is not so wonderful.

I've been crying for over a year.

I didn't think I could cry so much.

I'm tired of it.

Michael is tired of it.

I think Michael is tired of me.

I don't know what to do.

I can't fix this.

I think I can fix everything.

But I can't fix this.

I feel like a failure.

In my mind, I know that is not true but in my heart I still feel it.

Some days it is all I can do to get out of bed.

Then other days I can't go to sleep.

I'm exhausted but sleep will not come.

Which makes crying so much easier.

At any point, I could just fall apart and become just a pile of bones.