Depression

Since last week or last  time that I wrote, I have been draggin' and sleepin' and almost cryin'. Strugglin' to get through the days doin' what I am 'spose to.

I think I had gotten out of the habit of taking my Prozac. (It has a marked influence on  my personality.)

So through tears I have been doggedly praying to the Lord for help and to fill me. He finally made me realize that I need medicine. This is not something I can do without. And believe you me, I have tried.

So while holding His hand I have begun the routine again.

I read an article today about Depression . This made so much sense to me! My brain seems like it is constantly going and going and going, like an Ever Ready Battery Bunny!

I had tried so many other antidepressants but none seemed to work. Vowed never to do it again. I just needed to buck up and all would be fine.

Then Micael got sick. Or rather we found out Micael was sick.

Coping is not something I do very well.

I want to FIX EVERYTHING.

I CANNOT FIX MICAEL.

I prayed and prayed but mainly just wanted to cry all the time.

I was having trouble focusing, more importantly, focusing on the Lord, for the eye leaks.

Finally I told the Doc and he suggested Prozac.

I took it til I thought things were better and then came off of it.

Then  friends and family started asking if I was not taking the meds again.

I have realized, Depression is like a DISEASE. It is not something that you get over. It is a lack of connection or rather a too good connection, according to that article. It is something you cannot just fix without medicine.

We all have things that are "wrong" with us, some more noticeable than others.

None of us are perfect.

May we remember to pray for others, even if we don't think anything is wrong.

We just never know what is going on inside that person.

Hugs.