Monday, January 23, 2012

My "born into" family sucks

My "born into" family absolutely drives me insane. (I have made me another family that does not drive me too crazy.....They are MY family.)

My mother has a whole album of my daughter, Tracy, that passed away in 1986. I have almost none because I thought I lost the pictures.

I found them last week at Mother's apartment.

She has moved in with my brother because she has been diagnosed with dementia.

Whatever. When it suits her she has it and when it doesn't she doesn't.

She is front and center of every one's attention and she is loving it. She told me so. For the first time in her life she is center of attention......Good grief.....

Anyway, back to the pictures. She also has almost 5 completely full albums of my family with a few pictures of the other granddaughter thrown in. But 99.9% are my family.....

I can't take them to get copies made. We have an EXCELLENT place here. But nooooooooooo, I can't have them.

My brother asked me what I wanted. I told him, the handmade quilts, the quilt my sister and I made mom. Nope. Not those either. Finally I was so very upset because I couldn't even find the quilt Jan and I had made that the wife said Oh maybe I picked that up with the towels........Yup. They had the quilt. But not the others that my mom had stored away for 30 years. Those had disappeared.......

When I went up there I thought it was just a visit.

Nope, I was told to go thru and get everything I wanted.

Did someone miss that I drive a CAMARO?

We could have gone in Jan's SUV if I had known he wanted me to take stuff back. I thought no biggie, he is keeping the apartment til the lease runs out......

So I shoot him an email, since he refused to be in the same room with me so we could talk, telling him the few pieces of furniture and dishes I would take.

I get an email back saying Oh Sorry. That is all gone to Wife's kids..........

I have a dark, dark, dark cloud hovering above me. It is getting some what better but everytime I think of this, my anger burns brighter.

I did finally get him to agree to get the pictures professionally copied to disk and I could pay for them. So I tell Mother that I am excited since he would not let me bring them home to get done. She jumps down my throat and tells me that Bro is the head of the house now and I better get used to listening to him.......

Oh. No. You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.

I was not real good at taking orders when I lived at home and so for those two to try to get me to do it now is chapping me.

I don't jump because they tell me to jump.

So  I will probably never see the pictures of my daughter again. BTW-When I asked if I could have some or get them copied a couple of years ago-Mother's response: When I die.........

Keep me in your prayers, please! I need them desperately!!!


Natalie said...

I'm so sorry about your pictures! That sucks so bad! Your family sounds like control freaks(I come from a family like that also!) and the best way I have learned to not let them try and control you is to cut off contact(I did for a year) they'll come crawling back to you and if not,well that's for you to decide. Now this is what I did you have to do whats right for you. Remember bully's at school? Control freaks are kinda like that, I think!

Belle said...

Bizzaro World. They remind me of some of my family members. You can't understand crazy.
My heart sank when I read about your daughter's pictures. Very sad, and I can see why you are hurt and angry. I will pray for you right now. I do know God wants you to forgive, because he tells us that. That is so we can have peace in our hearts. I pray that for you.

Chatty Crone said...

Oh my goodness - so much sadness and dysfunction and meanness to you - I am so very sorry. What in the world could it hurt to let you copy pictures of your own daughter? And to share items?

They are holding some sort of grudge against you - do you know why by any chance?

Can you try to talk to them about this?

I will certainly add you to my prayer journal.

Love and hugs,

Anonymous said...

Dear Mimi, I am your latest follower. My dear friend Sandie at Chatty Crone sent me over to your blog. It's nice to meet you. It's not a very uplifting story to read from you today, and I recognize some of it from my own so called family. Families can sometimes be crude towards each other, I've been through a bit of it myself. And I ended up leaving my country because I'd had enough of it.
My prayers goes out to you, my new friend!
Have a nice Day! Hugs x