My "born into" family sucks

My "born into" family absolutely drives me insane. (I have made me another family that does not drive me too crazy.....They are MY family.)

My mother has a whole album of my daughter, Tracy, that passed away in 1986. I have almost none because I thought I lost the pictures.

I found them last week at Mother's apartment.

She has moved in with my brother because she has been diagnosed with dementia.

Whatever. When it suits her she has it and when it doesn't she doesn't.

She is front and center of every one's attention and she is loving it. She told me so. For the first time in her life she is center of attention......Good grief.....

Anyway, back to the pictures. She also has almost 5 completely full albums of my family with a few pictures of the other granddaughter thrown in. But 99.9% are my family.....

I can't take them to get copies made. We have an EXCELLENT place here. But nooooooooooo, I can't have them.

My brother asked me what I wanted. I told him, the handmade quilts, the quilt my sister and I made mom. Nope. Not those either. Finally I was so very upset because I couldn't even find the quilt Jan and I had made that the wife said Oh maybe I picked that up with the towels........Yup. They had the quilt. But not the others that my mom had stored away for 30 years. Those had disappeared.......

When I went up there I thought it was just a visit.

Nope, I was told to go thru and get everything I wanted.

Did someone miss that I drive a CAMARO?

We could have gone in Jan's SUV if I had known he wanted me to take stuff back. I thought no biggie, he is keeping the apartment til the lease runs out......

So I shoot him an email, since he refused to be in the same room with me so we could talk, telling him the few pieces of furniture and dishes I would take.

I get an email back saying Oh Sorry. That is all gone to Wife's kids..........

I have a dark, dark, dark cloud hovering above me. It is getting some what better but everytime I think of this, my anger burns brighter.

I did finally get him to agree to get the pictures professionally copied to disk and I could pay for them. So I tell Mother that I am excited since he would not let me bring them home to get done. She jumps down my throat and tells me that Bro is the head of the house now and I better get used to listening to him.......

Oh. No. You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.

I was not real good at taking orders when I lived at home and so for those two to try to get me to do it now is chapping me.

I don't jump because they tell me to jump.

So  I will probably never see the pictures of my daughter again. BTW-When I asked if I could have some or get them copied a couple of years ago-Mother's response: When I die.........

Keep me in your prayers, please! I need them desperately!!!

Just thinkin

Do you ever wonder why in the summer we have dry, brown grass and in the winter it is green and needs mowing?

Not related to the above question, but my Mom has been diagnosed with Dementia. She has been moved in with my brother and his family. It will not be much longer til they can no longer care for her. She thinks my brother is my dad. I am due to go out and see her soon with my sister. Wonder who we will be?

My grandmother also had dementia. My oldest aunt died of lung cancer, my next to oldest aunt died of throat cancer, my next to that aunt died from abuse. Now my mom has dementia.

It's been rather a sad time lately. I can't imagine having a screwed up world where one minute everything is fine and the next you are in a different time.

I feel for my brother and his family.

Do you ever wonder why.........

Hugs,

Questions questions questions

In the 6th chapter of Hebrews beginning in verse 4 the Bible says that those who have known Christ if they fall away then to bring them back to repentance would be crucifying Christ all over again and that is not possible.

Am I missing the point here? Am I miss reading this chapter? Or did I understand it correctly?

Help!!!

Have you ever noticed?

Have you ever noticed that when you begin to want to do things the way God wants them done, you get bombarded with other things?

I am trying to remember to wake up and thank my Father for this day. No matter what and to ask Him to fill me with His Presence.

Then I try to read a chapter in the bible every day.

I have noticed that the days that I get too busy to do either/both of these things, my day falls apart.

I get stressed out.

I get mad.

I want to cry.

I hurt someone's feelings.

When I talk to my Father every morning, my day goes better.

I can laugh.

I can let things go.

Things work out.

So why do I have trouble remembering to stop and meditate with my Father every morning?

Hugs!

The Argument

On my way to work the other day, a car in front of me pulled over to the side of the road.

I drove on past.

Then this voice said: You need to go back and check.

I replied: No.

Voice: There's a turn around right there

Me: No.

Voice: It could be a little lady like your mom.

Me: And it could be a mean person. NO.

Voice: And would I let you get hurt?

Me: No, I'm running late for work.

Voice: Bossman is a good man. He will understand.

By this time I am about 6 miles down the road, having made a turn and halfway to work. I realize that the
Voice is not. going. to. stop.

So I turn around.

Voice is laughing I am sure.

I thought I remembered where this car was and thought, whew, it's gone.

Then I thought, IT HAD A FLAT TIRE MORON, IT CAN'T JUST DRIVE OFF.

There it was, at the last bridge.

And it was NOT a grandma, or a young girl.

It was a tall young man.

He was the assistant manager to McDonalds and have been visiting his mom the night before and was on his way to work from her house when he had a flat tire. He wasn't even sure exactly where he was to the the tow truck. But with my help the tow truck found him and I was off to work.

I should know by now that I NEVER, EVER, win when the Voice talks.

Hugs my friends!

Needing Peace?

Find a spot.

Any spot. (Well, don't do this drivin'!)

Close your eyes.

Breathe deep.

Feel the calm.

Hugs.

Signs

Do you ever feel like you are all alone?

With the world is crushing in on you?

Like you have no one to turn to?

You say a short sentence: God, are you real?

Then you hear a laugh, or the wind gently brushes by you, or someone walks by and smiles?

Yes, He was with you.

I asked for a hug, a big God hold.

I felt the wind surround me.

I was hugged.

May you receive your God Hug today!